Welcome to Tamed By the Crow, my personal web-space for discussing my fictional identity. I am Raidou Kuzunoha XIV, sourced from Devil Summoner: Raidou Kuzunoha vs. The Soulless Army.
What are you?
To most people, I introduce myself as fictionkin. To those more familiar with alterhuman terminology, I refer to myself as having a dual fictionkin and otherhearted 'type. To myself, however, I simply refer to the way I experience my identity as my Raidou-ness. In summary, Raidou Kuzunoha XIV and I are one and the same, and yet simultaneously Raidou is also a character who I love and care for very deeply. Both my existence as and love for Raidou are a key part of who I am, and one cannot be separated from the other.
Is this some kind of joke? Are you delusional?
No and no. While I do genuinely consider myself to be Raidou Kuzunoha XIV, it's not so much in the sense of literal embodiment; when I look in the mirror I don't see Raidou, I see myself. There is a certain degree of separation between me-as-Raidou and Raidou-as-fictional- character that is, in a way, integral to my identity. My Raidou-ness is simply how I choose to describe the way that I process the world. Even if I did experience delusions, though, I would still consider my experiences just as legitimate. Either way, I can't imagine that any explanation I gave would change anyone's mind if they already believed that I and anyone who similarly identifies as a fictional character are mentally unwell.
Is this some sort of New Age spiritual thing, like multiverse reincarnation?
No. I am an atheist and am highly skeptical of spirituality as a whole; I believe that my Raidou-ness is strictly psychological in origin, stemming from the intense special interests I experience as a result of my autism. If I were to psychoanalyze further, I might speculate that identifying as Raidou gives me a framework to understand my emotions and sense of selfhood as someone who has struggled to do so for most of my life, but I'm not particularly interested in going over the nature of my Raidou-ness with a fine-toothed comb like that. Sometimes I like to say that Raidou is "part of my soul," but I only ever mean so in a strictly metaphorical sense.
[Insert question about canon/sourcemates/doubles/etc. here]?
Truthfully, my Raidou-ness differs enough from the orthodox fictionfolk experience that I don't find much of the community's terminology very useful. While I do have quite a few noemata (innate knowledge related to one's fictional identity), I have never experienced clear "kin memories" that delineate a "personal canon" separate from my source. Perhaps my Raidou-ness could be considered "canon compliant" in that regard, however I personally feel no connection to the term. My personal attitude towards the general concept of "canon" in fandom and literary analysis as a whole also influence my aversion towards several common fictionfolk terms, though both subjects are far too complicated for me to get into here.
As for sourcemates and doubles, besides what I already mentioned above, I have two additional issues. With sourcemates in particular, I avoid seeking them out because to me it feels artificial to form connections with others based solely on a relationship predetermined by our fictional identities. There is also the fact that I am autistic and get very defensive of my special interests, to the point where I often struggle to respond in an emotionally appropriate manner to and have even had meltdowns over what ultimately chalk up to harmless disagreements. I don't want to risk putting myself in emotionally distressing situations by interacting with doubles or sourcemates, and likewise I don't want other people to have to deal with me lashing out at them over something that isn't even their fault in the first place.
What does "Tamed By the Crow" mean?
It's a reference to one of my favorite quotes from Soulless Army:
Main Site